Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Chillin' At The Mall

I hate the mall.  

I will try to avoid going there at all costs.  

When I do have to go, I try to get in and out as soon as possible.  Which is always fun to do when there are a million other people there.

Half of those million are under the age of 17, which means two things for me:

1. I will ALWAYS run into a student {and I always pray it won't be while I am looking at the adult section in Spencer's}.
2. I will get stuck behind a group of the Under-17's, who tend to walk slower than a turtle.

I can only hope that I didn't walk that slow at the mall when I was in high school.  Probably not, because I was either googly eyed over some cute boy or rushing to get some clothes at Wet Seal.

Half of the half million left {great math term} are those with children, so they make abrupt stops because their child has decided to have a tantrum right in the middle of the mall.  SO not their fault, but please move your child to the side as quickly as possible so the rest of us don't have to long jump over them and possibly spill our Orange Julius in the process.

The second half of the million people {can you believe I went to MIT?} {I didn't} are those like myself.  We want to get the HELL OUT OF THERE!!  We went in for a pair of pants and are now walking out with 6 bags because god forbid we have to come back to the mall before Christmas season.

Walk faster & get out of the way, people!  I need to get to Orange Julius!

My attitude toward the mall cracks me up because in my 6 5 4 years of high school, I probably went 3-4 times a month.  I LOVED the mall.  My friends and I could hang out without our dorky parents.  We could flirt with cute boys from other schools.  We could get an Orange Julius {well, at least one thing hasn't changed}.  I would spend HOURS looking through all the stores playing their cool music, which now I hear and think "turn it down!"

The only time I can now stand going to the mall is when I am on vacation.  That's because I get there 5 minutes before it officially opens with a strategic game plan and I know the Under-17's won't get there until I am about to leave {remember sleeping in until noon at that age?  Me neither, but that's a whole different blog post}.

So now that you know I am a crotchety old woman at the age of 31, get off my lawn you darn kids!


  1. I HATE the mall, too! I really dislike shopping in general other than food shopping...

  2. I used to go to the mall all the time!!! I never go now... except for the quick trip to the Gap because I have to go somewhere and need something presentable to wear.

    Orange Julius' are the BEST!!!